welcome to my wander...

I gave 40 dollars to a woman on campus tonight who asked me for help.  The funny thing is instead of getting a pat on the back for this kind of thing I end up being questioned.  I usually never tell people when I do stuff like this because Jesus tells me to shut up and I will get my reward in heaven, but on too many occasions I have been questioned for giving people money on the streets that I have decided to publicly defend myself.  Weird, huh?  I’m defending myself for actions that I would consider Christlike but others consider unwise.

This tends to happen to me a lot, actually, I seem to be a magnet for beggars.  I made a deal with myself a few years ago that I would never say no to someone who asked me for money (if I had it), so maybe beggars can sense that or something.  Tonight I was walking near the Strip on campus heading to dinner when a woman asked if she could use my phone.  After using my phone she asked for 25 dollars and gave me a long story about cancer, medicine, and desperation.  She said she needed medicine, I didn’t have any cash, but I agreed to walk to an ATM so I could help her out.  The ATM could only give me 20’s, so I ended up handing her 40 dollars, prayed with her that her surgery would go well, then parted ways and headed to dinner.

After things like this happen I always get the question, “Do you think they were sincere?” I don’t know.  I’ve heard people say, “Why don’t they get a job?”  I don’t know.  “Don’t they have family or insurance to help them?”  I don’t know.  “Did their story add up?”  I don’t know.  “What do you think they’ll really do with the money?”  I don’t know.  I’ve had people tell me I’m stupid, that I may be helping to support their addictions and reward their laziness.  Maybe, I don’t know.

Obviously, there’s a lot that I don’t know.  Here’s what I do know…

Jesus said at the end of time he will divide up people on his left and his right, and to those on his left he will say, “Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.”  His followers were confused, and asked when this ever happened.  Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.”

Jesus also said, “If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

Paul said that we were bought with a price, and that nothing we own is actually ours.  Who am I to hold tight to my money when it is not actually mine?

I am not trying to tell you that you should always give money to people who ask (but, Jesus is).  All I am doing is giving the reasons why I choose to.  A simple Google search will find many articles written by Christians who give opinions very different than this one.  The main reason I’m not telling you that you should always give money away is that I am not sure I am right.  I may be wrong, it’s happened before.  But I am not convinced that if Jesus saw a beggar on the street that he would say or think, “Get a job,” and walk away.  Maybe he wouldn’t give them money either, but without being God and knowing their heart and intentions I have not yet come up with a better alternative.

But the least of these look like criminals to me

So I leave Christ on the street

This World - Derek Webb

On a side note, I’m also convinced that 90% of the people who have asked me for money are angels.  Yes, real ones.  But I can’t include that in my argument because I have no valid supporting evidence.  Only faith.

I’m sitting at my usual desk on the south wall of the 3rd floor of Hodges Libary and its almost 11 pm.  I should be writing a paper thats due tomorrow, but true to form, I’m distracted with starting a blog instead of being productive.  I’ve been procrastinating for the past 16 years of my scholastic career, why break that streak now?

These blogs are a curious thing.  They seem to be the cool thing, and being a communication studies major, I can’t miss out on a new form of social media can I? I’m probably already several years late on riding this trend wave anyways.  Anyways, I figured I would start one, though I’ll admit I’m a little skeptical and scared.  I feel like this is a big commitment, and I’m not sure if I can handle it, I’m not sure if I can live up to the hype.  So I’d like to start with a disclaimer: I’m not promising that this thing will ever be updated in any timely fashion whatsoever. Nor am I promising that this thing will ever make any sense whatsoever.  Much of my life is trying to make sense of the mess that is my brain.  For some reason the good Lord blessed me with synapses that fire at will and often times in several directions at once, like a neurological redneck firework show.  So if you think you can keep up, feel free to join this ride.

In the Bible the Children of God are often called Hebrews.  Though the origin of this word is uncertain, one translation of the word “Hebrew” is “Wanderer”.  I think this is beautiful, that God’s people would be deemed wanderers, nomads.  

I’ve found that this is a very fitting description of not only the people of God but of my own heart.  We’ve already established that I have a tendency to let my thoughts wander.  Coincidentally, my heart tends to follow suit, as well as my feelings, my emotions, my allegiances, my desires, my soul, my feet.  I am a wandering being.

The good thing is I serve a patient God, a graceful God.  He knows my nomadic spirit and chooses to let me roam this earth from whose dirt I am formed.  And somehow, for some reason, he chooses to smile down upon me.  I will wander, he knows, until some glorious day when I wander right into his Promised Land, and I will enter the gates and fall at the feet of the One who makes all things new.  Meanwhile, I think my life is amusing to him.  Hopefully, it is glorifying to him.  And this is my prayer, that somehow my wander will please my Maker.

And out of this chaos, my blog is named! That was easy.  Here’s to some stories and thoughts as I wander through this life, filled with wonder of an awesome God…

Oh to grace how great a debtor

daily I’m constrained to be.

Let thy goodness, like a fetter,

bind my wandering heart to thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

prone to leave the God I love;

here’s my heart Lord, O take and seal it,

Seal it for thy courts above.